Motel Cuisine (1) (Soup)
I stayed in a lot of cheapish Super 8 Motels over the last couple weeks, and frequently got hungry at night. They’re usually off in the boonies or near an airport, so if youre lucky, you might find a near by gas station to shop at. And if youre really lucky, that gas station will sell a fine bottle of Bud Ice to go with your meal.
What you need:
- Gas station
- Can of soup
What most motels supply, in room:
- Coffee mug
- Coffee pot
- Spoon
- Napkin
Obviously you have to walk to the gas station to get the soup, unless your a fucking wacko and carry it in your suitcase. Hey, whatever floats boats. While youre at the gas station, pick up some beer, its a luxury we don’t have in CT. If a strip club is near by, disregard all further directions.
Back in your room, open the can of soup, but don’t remove the lid. Strain the liquid into the ‘water’ part of the coffee pot. Add water if you couldn’t afford Progresso and got Campbells. If you have a girl over, add a little more water so the beer hits her harder. Now you have a can full of cubed vegetables. Rip the napkin so its just 1 or 2 ply, depending on its quality, or lack there of, and place that where the coffee filter would go. Dump the ‘vegetables’ on top of the napkin, and hit the power switch. Make sure the coffee pot is is under there. Drink a couple beers while it cooks.
You now have a coffee pot full of hot broth. BUT, you also have a bunch of hot vegetables as well. Remove the napkin from the filter area and flip them into the coffee pot. Soup! Pour some in a coffee mug and enjoy!
BONUS:
Most motels have actual ‘bowls’ in the lobby that they will give you if you ask. Just don’t be ugly. And while youre down there, ask if they have crackers too.
