Crackpan Jamboree
Rough week, your wife’s a bitch, and maybe you drank a little too much tonight. But damn, you’re hungry, and back at your apartment, alone, and hungry, and theres only one fucking egg. Shit, no groceries/lean pockets/candy, I feel like a homeless person. Wait, sorta got some stuff? No problem
What you need:
- An egg
- Half a tomato/vegetable
- Half a red onion/vegetable
- Ham/other redish meat
- Some butter
What you should have:
- Non-stick pan
- Stove
- Plastic spatula
- Knife/Fork/Plate
- Salt/Pepper
Fire up the stove to 3/4 heat and place the pan on the burner. While this heats up, cut up the vegetables. All you really need are two halves of any vegetable. I happend to have 1/2 a tomato and 1/2 a red onion. They tasted pretty ok together.
When the pan is sort of hot, toss some butter on there, and you sliced up onions. Let them cook down a little, maybe add more butter/salt/pepper. When the edges start carmelizing, put some tomato slices. They will take less time than the onions. Also add the ham next, overlapping it with the onions and tomatos. In a couple minutes the ham should look kinda brown-ish on the edges. Thats probably good. Add salt and pepper, unless you have too much sodium levels. You can also add a little oregano or ground hot pepper/garlic/any seasoning. Mix stuff around, and crack open the egg into the middle of your concotion. I hope you like sunny-side up, because you really don’t have a choice at this point.
When the egg looks edible (yellow yolk looks firm/clear stuff looks opaque white), everything’s done. Grab your plate, and it shouldn’t be paper cause this recipe took too long to deserve that. Slide the whole thing of food off the pan on to your plate. Done.
BONUS:
If you have a girl over while you are attempting to cook this, don’t just simply double the ingredients. Make a whole duplicate meal in a seperate pan next to your first one. Not only will this make the food taste better/create more dishes for her to wash/save math time, but she will be impressed with your multitasking abilities = sex.
